After Mom’s um-teen hours of buying, wrapping, and taping, we turned her selfless labor into about three minutes of chaos, punctuated by the disenchantment that follows any such gluttony. Was that all there was? Were we sure the few unopened presents still under the tree were for people other than us?
Frankly, I grew up to be somewhat of a Grinch when it came to family-wide gift giving. Luckily, when my husband and I had children, his experience had been different, and we came up with a much more pleasant, satisfying family tradition.
I’m not saying our kids didn’t start out wanting to dive into a ripping fury. The first couple of years took some gentle tapping of brakes along with hugs and explanations, but it didn’t take long for them to accept that this is the way we open gifts together.
Here are four ways to make gift-giving holidays the wonderful events we want them to be:
1. Get your child(ren) invested in the holiday and what giving means by making gifts for other family members.
And that includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. For example, from the time our kids could help pour sugar and flour into the bowl, we used all kinds of cookie cutters to make small packages of yummy treats for everyone. Giving each person a couple of cookies is plenty to get the point across that reciprocal gifts are fun.
When our kids were too little to wrap, we put frosted cookies into clear cello bags we got from the craft store and tied them with ribbon.
A word of caution: When our kids got older, I set them loose to make the cookies themselves. One year, that didn’t work out so well because one of them accidentally used salt instead of sugar in a madcap set of misunderstandings. Needless to say, the cookies looked nice, but they tasted disgusting. You may want to hang out and talk to your kids while they assemble the dough, no matter how old they are—especially if they get distracted as easily as we do in our family.
But if you hate to bake, don’t let that discourage you from teaching your kids about gift giving.
One year our kids drew pictures for everyone and glued them onto construction paper to “frame” them. I helped them write captions to go with the pictures, which ended up cute and funny because, well, kids are cute and funny. We’ve made everyone ornaments with pine cones, Popsicle sticks, glitter, and lots of other simple, inexpensive materials.
Most of those gifts have likely gotten tossed by family members over the years, but kids who participate in gift-giving look differently at receiving because they appreciate the effort that went into the present as well as the thing they find under the wrapping. When your kids get old enough to do odd jobs, let them earn money to buy small presents for people. Kids love shopping for gifts for others to open.
2. Have your kids take turns picking out a gift for someone else to open.
You’d be surprised how quick they are to hand presents to their sibling(s). Children figure out fast that sharing with a brother or sister means a present will likely land in their laps to open in the near future.
3. Have family members open gifts one at a time.
This way, everyone has a chance to see what others have given and received. Both the giver and the getter can be the center of attention for a moment as the family ooohs and aaahs over whatever came out of the gift bag. The recipient also has an opportunity to thank the giver before moving on to the next present.
4. Once the gifts have been opened, ask each person to choose a quick task to help clean up.
You’ve heard the saying “Many hands make light work” right?
Make a game of counting to ten to see if, as a team, you can get all the torn paper thrown into the trash, the gift bags folded and stacked, and the bows collected to be used again throughout the year. Another job might be to fold garment boxes for later use as well.
Admittedly, getting everyone to participate in cleanup was a little more difficult in our household because we didn’t think to start this practice until the kids were a bit older.
The best time to create such habits is when kids are in second grade or younger, at an age when they like the feeling of competency that comes from contributing to a family project. But older children can learn too. It just takes a little more discussion.
What is gift giving like in your house? Wild and crazy, tame and civilized, or somewhere in between?
What tradition(s) have evolved in your household that have made gift-giving more enjoyable for your family?
We’d love to hear from you!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
