Give yourself grace? Give your kids grace? What does that mean?
The pandemic has been rough on a lot of families. Thankfully, as more people get the COVID vaccine, we are beginning to cautiously venture outside our homes. Camps and activities for kids are becoming available during the summer. Even better, an increasing number of school districts plan to resume in-person instruction in the fall.
But so many parents have suffered—from lack of patience, needing space, worrying their kids haven’t gotten a year’s worth of instruction from online learning, that isolation has weakened their children’s social skills and self-confidence, too much togetherness has siblings arguing more and treating one another with less respect . . .
The list goes on.
Worse, parents think if they were bigger, stronger, faster, or more intelligent, their families would be faring better through this difficult time.
So, let’s get something straight.
If you’re parenting your kids with intention and doing your best, you’re doing great. So, give yourself GRACE!
A friend of mine, Dr. Alessandrini from HealthyFamilyandMe.com asked 101 moms if they thought they were a “Good Mom” or a “Good Enough Mom”. The results were interesting.
No one is perfect. It’s actually good for your children to see how you handle yourself when you make a mistake.
When you get impatient or do something hurtful, try these 3 things:
- Decide how you’ll respond differently the next time you find yourself in a similar circumstance.
- Take responsibility by apologizing and telling your kids what you’ll do differently next time.
- Teach your kids about “grace” — how letting go of a mistake, forgiving yourself or someone else, dissipates anger, fear, and anxiety.
Allowing for grace gives us room to grow.
Because of your modeling, your kids will learn to take responsibility. Therefore, they’ll commit to doing something differently the next time they make a mistake. Your kids will also learn to give themselves and others grace.
What amazing gifts to give your kids!
Isolation, tripping over one another in the kitchen, trying to get tasks done for work while kids view lessons online have been difficult for many. The good news? If we look for them, we can find valuable teachable moments for our kids.
I’ve been on a quest to show as many parents as possible how to solve family issues by being intentional about including their kids in helping to come up with solutions.
Children ages four and up are great at contributing to problem solving. Moreover, you’ll get buy-in if they’ve helped put together a plan with you to improve a situation.
Creating a “new normal” to get everyone’s needs met while doing work and school at home, filling in learning gaps, creating a more peaceful environment . . .
Almost anything you want to improve CAN HAPPEN when you’re intentional about involving your kids in the decision-making process.
More important, your kids will help you stay on track and consistent if they’ve helped to come up with the plan to fix something your family has decided was broken.
Will you make mistakes? Sure. Will your kids blow it sometimes? Yep.
But you’ll all be a lot happier when you’re intentional about creating a “new normal” together.
FIND OUT A SIMPLE WAY TO INCLUDE YOUR KIDS IN WORKING OUT ISSUES FOR LASTING RESULTS HERE.
Let us know how it goes with your family in the comments!
Best wishes on your parenting journey,
Trish Wilkinson, founder Brain Stages Parenting and coauthor Brain Stages: How to Raise Smart, Confident Kids and Have Fun Doing It
