Life balance? What’s that? Do you ever feel like you’re the ball that gets shot into a pinball game almost as soon as you get out of bed?
The alarm goes off and BAM. You go flying.
You try to jot down a list and scratch off a few things throughout the day.
But something “urgent” demands your attention. Then something else, and something else. You ricochet from one thing to the next.
I used to feel like that a lot and was never happy with my life balance at work or at home with my family. I’d work to exhaustion most days between my professional life and managing our kids.
And I started to resent my husband.
Whereas he played racquetball with a group of friends several days a week in the middle of the day, I got up at 4:00 a.m. to run with a buddy. Otherwise, I wouldn’t get to run. I was teaching at the time, and there is NO flexibility in your schedule when you have a class or classes of students depending on you to be there.
Though I LOVED both my work and our family, eventually, my husband and I had a big argument.
Frankly, I was exhausted and miserable, and I took out my frustration on him.
When we cooled off, he came to me and said, “I’m sorry about earlier. There’s no reason for me to feel defensive about having life balance. Let’s break down what’s going on in your life and figure out how to set that up for you too.”
What a guy, right?
Something Chuck said to me that I will never forget: “Don’t confuse the urgent with the important.”
It was during that conversation that I finally learned HOW to slow down so I could speed up.
This was revolutionary for me.
I learned how to do schedule important to-dosrather than get distracted by perceived urgent tasks.
Prioritizing may sound obvious. But I’d thought I WAS prioritizing.
And I often regretted not getting to something truly important because a right-now thing had gotten in the way. I had to be more thoughtful about choosing and acting upon my priorities.
I had thought I set boundaries, but when I really looked at my life, I realized they were more like fuzzy lines. If I wasn’t going to respect them, no one else would.
I began blocking time in my schedule to get things done, which made all the difference.
Blocking time and setting alarms throughout the day to change activities was life changing. I couldn’t believe how much more I got accomplished. And I got the personal time I craved to recharge for a new day.
You may not need an alarm. Maybe you have another kind of system. For me, I need a sound to move me to the next activity or appointment on time.
Along with many other things, my NEW boundaries included making sure I took time to recharge my batteries.
Without taking some personal time, I couldn’t be nearly as present for the people and projects I cared about.
Running, stretching, meditating, praying, and writing my gratitude list in the mornings.
My improved mental health positively impacted both my job performance and the peace in our home.
Through my example and coaching our kids, they learned how to speed up in their lives by slowing down to plan a little and get things into place for life-balance too.
Our older daughter recently sent me this text: “You taught me in an extremely effective way how to slow down enough to speed up… It’s something that’s made me resilient, patient, and fast when it comes to learning. … It’s the main thing I attribute my success to. I love you, Mom.”
Can you imagine getting a text like that from your twenty-something-year-old child? If you had told me I would ever get a text like that from her, I would have laughed and said, “Thanks for the encouragement, but I’ll believe it when I see it.”
5 Steps to Create Life-Balance:
1. Schedule time to slow down so you can speed up.
2. During the appointment you gave yourself, get clarity by defining where you are and where you want to be—mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Sometimes we get stuck. We know we don’t like our current circumstances, or we know our situation could be better, but we don’t know how to free ourselves to move in a positive direction.
If you have trouble doing this on your own, please schedule a quick call with me, and I’ll help you figure it out. 😊
3. Define your priorities and set goals for personal growth/maintenance, family, and your profession or work projects.
4. Block time in your calendar for you to move toward where you want to go.
That is, set appointments for yourself in your calendar to be intentional about moving forward with your goals.
If something comes up that you MUST do instead, RESCHEDULE. Be intentional about setting a new time. Then do your best to keep the new appointment.
5. Be intentional about treating yourself with grace. You don’t have to be perfect.
For example, say you scheduled a 30- or 60-minute workout. Then something comes up. You have NO other place to schedule your workout that day. You missed your spin class, or whatever, and you end up with only 20 minutes, or even 10, before you have to be somewhere.
Change up what you were going to do.
Run 2 miles instead of the 5 or 6 you’d planned. Put on some music and jog in place for 10 minutes. If you follow me, you already know studies show your brain gets full benefits from a ten-minute workout!
Creating life-balance is truly possible. Don’t miss the opportunity the feel better in every way so you can meet your goals and dreams as well as be more present for your loved ones.
If you’ve had trouble creating life-balance on your own, let’s talk.
We could make life-balance in your home and at work your reality.
Go to my Calendly link and schedule a convenient time for you to have a conversation. Right now. Before you talk yourself out of it.
You’ll be so glad you did!
Best wishes on your parenting journey,
Trish Wilkinson
Coauthor Brain Stages: How to Raise Smart, Confident Kids and Have Fun Doing It Founder Brain Stages Parenting
Nice!!