When kids are stressed and anxious, the thinking areas in their brain shut down. The good news is that using a few of these suggestions can help your kids manage stress and anxiety—so they can THINK!
Welcome to Part 5 (of 6) in the Brain Stages Social and Emotional Learning series.
If you missed a previous post, you can click on the links below.
- Part 1: How to Help Kids Identify Emotions and Work Through Them
- Part 2: Build Children’s Confidence and Empathy for a Better Life.
- Part 3: Giving Your Child a Purpose for Learning
- Part 4: 6 Ways to Celebrate Effort and Progress to Boost Kids’ Learning
In this series, we’ve discussed how letting kids know what they’ll learn, how they’ll use what they learn, setting realistic goals, and focusing on effort and progress boosts motivation.
The bonus is these things also reduce stress and anxiety.
So, if you’ve been following the Brain Stages Social and Emotional Learning series, you’re off to a great start for managing stress and anxiety.
In addition, try the following suggestions and see which ones work best for the kids in your life.
Each of the suggestions work well for most kids. If you have a child or work with children who struggle with attention issues, these are definite gamechangers.
Notice I didn’t use the term ADHD.
YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT DEFICIENT, NOR ARE THEY DISORDERED! Their brains just work differently from the mainstream.
6 WAYS TO HELP KIDS MANAGE STRESS AND ANXIETY
1. Help your child identify triggers.
Work together to understand what situations often cause stress that leads to anxiety. That way, your child can be ready to use tools to keep them grounded and regulated.
2. Practice tools together to reduce stress while your child is calm.
Practicing with tools for emotional regulation before your child needs them will give them confidence and a way to deal with stress when it arises.
For example:
a) Practice taking ten deep breaths together.
Say: Inhale – two, three, four. Exhale – two, three, four.
It takes about 90 seconds to disperse the cortisol (stress hormone) in the brain, which is roughly ten deep breaths.
b) Visualize an emotion in a bubble above your heads.
Close your eyes, and picture stress or anxiety filling a dialogue bubble, like in graphic novels. Looking directly at an emotion, rather than trying to push it away or stuff it down, allows the space for us to release that feeling.
I like to have kids picture the “emotion bubble” floating away from their heads and popping in the distance.
c) Drink plenty of water.
There are several studies that show a hydrated brain makes for a more relaxed mind. Think about it. Our brains are 72 percent water. When we have the hydration we need, everything works better, including our coping skills. It may sound strange, but a big drink of water can help us manage our stress and anxiety.
A good rule is to have your child fill and drink the contents of their water bottle at least four times each day.
d) Get into an exercise routine in the mornings before school and work. All it takes is 10 minutes!
Researchers in Canada set out to find the least amount of time we could engage in cardio exercise and get ALL the benefits.
And guess what?
They found the magic number is 10 minutes of exercise.
All the chemicals and neural pathways operate at their most efficient levels for the next four hours!
Note: Doing 10 minutes of exercise before homework is a big help too.
Put on a 10-minute kick-boxing video on YouTube. Jump rope or dance to your favorite music for 10 minutes. Whatever your kids like to do for exercise, do THAT!
You won’t believe how this small amount of movement will reduce the stress and anxiety and help your family think more clearly!
3. Create routines.
Structure and consistency reduce stress because kids know what’s coming.
Of course, life will toss in exceptions.
But having consistent times for meals, homework, getting ready for bed, and lights out offer kids a sense of security that allows them to relax.
4. Model self-care.
Yep, life is hectic. The easiest way I know to model self-care is to do the things listed above WITH your kids.
It’s also good for your kids to see you hang out with friends, read for fun, write in a journal, do some deep breathing when you get stressed, and whatever else you like to do to be intentional about supporting your own mental health.
5. Validate kids’ feelings.
When your child(ren) get frustrated, angry, stressed, or anxious, acknowledge the emotion and help to reframe their thoughts.
For example, if you pick up your son or daughter from school, and you see stress on their face, you might say: “Hey, great to see you! Hmm. You seem stressed.” Then be silent and let them tell you what’s going on.
Once you understand their anxiety, you can reframe their thoughts by saying something like:
Validation: “Yeah, that seems like a big project. I can see why you feel stressed about it.
Reframe: You have two weeks to do it, though. How could you put time into your homework schedule to get some of it done every day? That’s what I do at work when I have a big project. When you move forward every day, soon you’ll have the whole thing finished, probably a few days ahead of time.”
6. Encourage your kids to take regular breaks.
After school, have your kids get a drink of water and give them some playtime before starting homework.
(And NO, screen time doesn’t count.)
You can set up your kids for faster, more efficient homework by doing 10 minutes of exercise before they get started on assignments.
If you notice them staring off into space while doing homework, have them get up and drink some more water and do 25 jumping jacks to reset their brain to be able to think again.
Note: Many elementary schools no longer assign homework. This makes the transition to doing homework in middle, high school, and college extremely difficult, if not impossible, for some kids.
If your child’s school doesn’t assign homework, encourage your child to read for fun at home and do projects, like cooking or building a doghouse. If they practice the skills they learn at school in real life, making the transition to doing homework is much easier.
Whether your kids do all six or just a few of the things on this list, they’ll enjoy a more peaceful school year.
And, as always, if you would like support or need some troubleshooting, you can schedule a consultation with me here.
The first consultation is complimentary, and I can save you a LOT of time. 😊
Best wishes on your parenting journey,
Trish Wilkinson
Parent Coach, founder of Brain Stages Parenting and Education
